Wed-etiquette

I love weddings!  I love the dress, the flowers, the food, the dancing, the people watching.  Love, love, love weddings.  I will be attending a wedding today and thought this would be a great time to share a little wedding etiquette that will go a long way.  Unlike Fight Club, the first rule of weddings is to talk about weddings!  A word to the bride about how beautiful the decor, design and flowers are will make her feel even more special and recognizing all her design efforts will surely bring another smile to her face on her already happy day.  The following are a few of my favorite "dos" and "don'ts":

1)  DON'T dress like it's your event!  Overdressing for a wedding (or underdressing) is simply bad form and screams insecure wedding guest.  A simple, elegant evening or daytime look with simple jewelry, tasteful heels and limited exposure is always best.  You do not want to be the "wedding skank" and every wedding has one, just don't allow it to be you!

2)  DO NOT criticize the event at your TABLE.  You never know who is listening and one overheard negative comment might get back to the bride and that would be awful  Not everything goes perfectly at every wedding.  Sometimes caterers, florists, etc. drop the ball and fail to do their best work at the event and sometimes the old bait & switch occurs (i.e. caterer serves the food a little different from the tasting they provided to the Bride!).  If you must comment, save it for chit-chat after the event.  Better yet, overlook it and keep your mouth shut.

3)  DO help make it fun!  Dance, drink, eat and enjoy yourself.  Nothing makes a bride & groom happier than looking out and seeing their guests having the time of their lives.  Every couple wants to believe that THEIR wedding was the best ever!  Make it happen for them.  And yes, you can even do the worm on the dance floor.  All crazy dancing is allowed EXCEPT bump-n-grind (icky in many a scenario).

4)  DO act like a couple in love if you are attending the wedding with your spouse, partner, or date.  Couples fighting at a wedding is bad karma and is wrong on so many levels.  I've seen pouty spouses & dates acting like divas at someone else's wedding!  Please - do everyone a favor and stay home if you don't want to attend the wedding.

5)  DON'T act like a teenage couple and make out on the dance floor.  Period.  Only the newly wedded couple is allowed to do this and even then, it's has to be tasteful (even if it is your day and all!).

And my #1 Wedding Etiquette DON'T - DO NOT RSVP and not show up!  If you do this, unless it's an absolute medical/life-threatening emergency, send the couple a gift card for the price of your meal/drink (take a guess) with a handwritten apology.  If your babysitter cancels, then one of you show up to the ceremony, eat a little at the reception and go home.

Cheers to the bride & groom!

Letty

Time, Time, Time...

Those three little words from the Bangles version of  "Hazy Shade of Winter" are ringing in my head...If only I had more time, time, time!  Everyday I start off with a list of things I want to accomplish.  I usually accomplish most of those things but many are carried over to the next day's list.  I am sure this happens to everyone.  The problem is that I often put more things on my list than humanly possible.  Why do I do this?  Because I want to be superwoman and have convinced myself that I can do it but in reality I end up driving myself crazy.  Well, no more people!  Here is my new plan and I am sticking to it: 

1)  I will assign all tasks a specified time block - e.g. I have 3 hours to work on legal paperwork and get as much done as possible.  This will only work if I actually work these 3 hours on nothing else and I actually stop after 3 hours. 

2)  I will assign all tasks a "urgency factor" - court deadlines, client meetings, etc. will get a higher priority. 

3)  I will assign all tasks a "value added weight" - e.g. will this bring me more business, money, clients, happiness, keep me healthy, etc. 

4)  I will assign all business & home matters to Fridays - e.g. pay bills, call cable guy, make doctors/dentists appointments, etc. 

I am embarking on two new business ventures (more on that later!!!) and will need to learn to manage my time better if they are to be successful.  Not only can time be our enemy when it comes to our looks ("Honey, time marches on and eventually you realize it is marchin' across your face" - Truvy), but it can be our enemy when we allow it to control us instead of us controlling it.  So, I plan on taking control of my time and making the most of it. 

Now, if I only had time to make that list...

Ciao,
Letty

Parents Gone Stupid

I was at my daughter's volleyball game last night and was simply appalled at what I heard & experienced.  First, there was an empty seat in the front row in the audience. I asked the parent sitting next to that empty seat if I could sit down and she said "No, my son is sitting there."  WHAT!!!  Since when does an 8 year kid take the seat of an adult?  I rolled my eyes at her.  I know, I know... that was poor form itself but there is something about these sporting events that brings out the worst in parents, me included (sometimes).  Second, there was two dads standing behind me instructing the very good volleyball server to "hit it to the back row because they can't return anything."  Really?  That's showing kids sportmanship?  Those are words of encouragement?  They are basically saying, compete against the weakest link and you'll win instead of competing against the strongest opponent so that you earn it.  I know that's probably not strategically what teams/players actually do but to say it out loud and voice it when parents OF THE OTHER TEAM can hear you?  What a couple of asshole dads who probably didn't do well in sports when they were in school and are trying to live vicariously through their children.  I could say more but I think you get my point.  In turn, this got me going, again, and I just had to yell out "Way to return it back row" when our team finally broke the serve from the back row. 

I've seen even worse behavior in the past and will keep tabs this season, all the while trying to remind myself that I cannot participate in this childish behavior.  I will try my very best to remember that I am the adult in this scenario and applauding the misses, mistakes and missteps of the other children on the other team is just plain rude and makes me look petty.  That is not what my girl needs when she is on the floor, playing her heart out.  She needs to know how to win without her parents acting like losers. 

Ciao,
Letty

International Dance Party Planning 101

I've been away for a while!  My apologies for those who wait with breath that is bated for my blog (not many, huh?).  I was super busy with a fundraiser event for my daughter's school that took over my life for the last 3 weeks and I needed this week to recover.  It was super fun and looked wonderful, if I do say so myself.  Our theme was International Dance Party.  A "global" party theme is the new black in my opinion.  Because we were on a budget, here are some ideas on the cheap that worked wonderfully:

1)  Bucket of international sodas - purchased inexpensive sodas/soft drinks from Japan, Mexico, United Arab Emirates, Holland, Canada (found those at the Dollar Store!!!).  Most of these I found at the local speciality neighborhood supermarkets.  I put these all in a plastic tub with small cups around the bucket so everyone could taste a little of each.   
2)  Gift bag with international candies - Canels (gum from Mexico); Tootsie Rolls; "Swedish" Fish.  It was pretty inexpensive and added a fun little touch to the table.
3)  Ordered international-flag themed cocktail napkins online. 
4)  A handmade cookie bouquet that highlighted each country's flag. 

We tied the theme together with posters from World Market, cheap streamer paper & balloons in bright bold colors (main flag colors of all the nations that were represented) and had an international buffet menu. 

It was slightly "prom-like" but we were in the gym after all (again, we were on a budget) but it still looked pretty good.  If you would like any more ideas on how to bring your own "IDP" to your next party, feel free to email me letiquette@sbcglobal.net. 

Ciao!
Letty

Fashion Emergency

I attended a wedding this past weekend that had a morning Thai ceremony and then a more traditional evening ceremony so I knew I would need two different outfits.  For the morning ceremony, I wore a simple, light color dress and had intended on wearing a black dress for the evening (intended being the operative word in this sentence).  Of course, the zipper got stuck and broke as I was getting dressed.  I put my morning dress back on but I felt like it was too casual and a little too short for all the dancing I knew we would be doing later.  My husband is a dipper & a turner, so I knew the shorter dress would not have been good.  I had to get a new dress but we were out of time.  We attend the evening ceremony itself but we sneak out during cocktail hour (yes, not proper protocol but it was a big reception and I knew no one would miss us for 30 minutes and I was in the middle of a fashion crisis), jump into a cab, drive down 8 blocks to the mall, jump out, run into a large department store and I immediately see a dress that I knew would fit me and work well with the shoes & accessories I was already wearing.  I put the dress on, clip off the tags and pay the lady.  The Fashion Gods were on my side.  We were back in 34 minutes. 

I thank my husband for knowing me so well and cooperating instead of just telling me "You look fine..." and going along with me on that adventure (he even suggested it!).   A broken zipper that can't be fixed in time for an event is not exactly a real emergency but he knew that I would be uncomfortable all night wearing the "wrong" dress and he cared enough to help me fix it.  It was important to me.  He so gets me.  That's the kind of marriage I hope for our newly married friends.

Ciao,
Letty

Cupcake High

I am on a red velvet cupcake high!  Stressful morning so I treated myself to a nice quiet lunch at one of my favorite little restaurants and topped it off with a cupcake, wrapped in its own beautiful little box.  I think the packaging made me happier than the cupcake itself!  The thought that went into the design of the package told me that the cupcake maker thought enough of her customers to make it beautiful and it made me happy the second it was put in my hands.  It was just a small box, nothing too fancy but it was designed for the cupcake and fit perfectly in my hand.  It sat next to me in my vehicle on my way back to work.  I spoke to it lovingly.  I was going to name it but then thought I might not be able to eat it.  This a good example of taking that one little extra step to show someone you put some real thought into whatever it is you are doing.  Some other suggestions:

1)  If you are asked to make a meal for a family in need, add paper plates, napkins and utensils for easy clean up.

2)  If you are asked to host a shower for someone, provide the guest of honor with addressed, self- stamped thank you cards so she just has to write the thank you and drop it in the mail.

3)  If you are asked to carpool for other families, have snacks, drinks in your vehicle for hungry after-school kids. 

You get the idea.  Go the extra step and raise the bar a little.  It will bring others great joy and make you look like a super-star.  I love my new cupcake lady and thank her for bringing a little something extra to my cupcake eating experience. 


Smooches,
Letty

Vacation Clothes

I recently went on work/vacation trip and was slightly appalled at what I saw some women wearing (or not wearing).  There were plenty of haltertops with no, ahem, support to speak of.  Not a pretty sight.  However, I was trying to refrain from being my usual judgmenty self because I totally understand the concept of not dressing as you usually would when you are on vacation.  In fact, I have a whole separate vacation/resort wardrobe that I would not wear when I'm at home.  Dresses a little too short for a night out, maybe a sexy little top that I'm actually too old to wear in my real life, etc.  To a degree, you can have a different style while on vacation and get away with wearing something you wouldn't ordinarly wear around town just in case you run into a co-worker, teacher from your child's school, your priest.  But there are still some rules: 

1)  Wear the proper accountrement - please, on vacation or otherwise, no one wants to see the girls hanging to your knees.  Remember the humidity if you are in a tropical climate - clothes will stick to your body.  The right bra and Spanx provide the requisite smoke & mirrors to make that outfit fit just right.  

2)  Don't assume that tropical prints are "vacation" clothes.  Use sparingly and not at all if possible.  Ick. 

3)  Don't pair a nice dress/outfit with FLIP FLOPS.  Dressing for dinner on vacation does not include flip flops.  Period.  If you are wearing flip flops, then you are eating, not dining, and are at the wrong resort.  

Unfortunately, our usual plans for vacation this year fell through and my vacation wardrobe won't be visiting Mexico.  Maybe someone could send it a postcard?

Smooches,
Letty